Late night musings and mumblings into the void

Hello dear reader! Salutations and welcome to my musings and mumblings!! Thank you for joining me in the void of space and time that is here and now. ok, so I definitely had intentions of becoming a travel blogger when I started this blog. I was hoping to find ways to do lots of travelling and blogging and have people be so interested in what I have to say that they throw money at me so that I can quit my jobs to focus on travelling and writing. However, I have found myself quite busy IRL with said jobs and life so getting to the internets for blogging has proven quite challenging. But tonight I am needing to stay awake during an overnight shift at the group home I work at occasionally so perhaps an update is in order. Kristi and I have travelled to Costa Rica for her birthday in December and have had a few more local adventures that I would love to share. I will try to dedicate a blog soon to those adventures. The biggest news of the hour though is that we have found a spot for our wedding and sent out invitations. So the kidders will be getting hitched in smartsville USA. HAHA! I want to invite everyone I know because I am THAT ridiculously excited for this next chapter in my life. AND I know its going to be an amazing fun party that I don’t want anyone to miss. However, I also want it to be an intimate party that Kristi and I throw for the people who have helped us to become the wonderful people whom we have become thus far along our lives journeys. So I am trying to find the balance. We have a lot of friends and family who are very excited for us. I also have people that I want to invite who have been important in my life who would like to support me and I know love me very much but don’t necessarily agree with my choice to get married again at all or have concerns that this time it is to a woman. Its bringing up a lot of things for me. I understand some of the concerns since I never thought I would want to get married again. After all how many times can you officially promise forever to another person? I did not have a wedding the first time. I eloped to Vegas with the intentions of still having an actual wedding but not really wanting the traditional walking down a long aisle in a poofy dress to swear an oath of til death do we part. At the time it felt like I would be a part of a ceremony that was for everyone else but not really what I wanted to do. So the wedding never happened but we were married for 8 years and had two amazing children together. I wanted to be married and have a husband and children. Being a mother was really the only goal I had for myself. I do not regret this decision that young Amanda leapt into though I wish that I had made some other goals that involved seeing more of the world and creating a stronger financial foundation for us all somehow. That being said, I am truly grateful that my children are exactly who they are. It has not been easy and I would not change anything about them. I am so proud to be their mother. They are nearly adults and incredibly independent and smart and it feels good to be starting to think about how I want to be moving forward in life as they continue forward on their own paths. Kristi and I have been planning our wedding since we started dating. Our ideal wedding is far from traditional. We want to have a mad tea party inspired but “not mad about it” tea party involving costumes and games and shenanigans. People ask me when we became officially engaged and it has been such a flow of us asking each other in different ways that it just feels natural and easy and time to throw a party about it! I want to have a space where people can celebrate the joy of two people finding each other in this chaotic world so full of pain and fear and beauty and joy and constant miracles grand and small. I want my family and friends to meet Kristi’s family and friends and revel in the ways we are all interconnected to one another and have a wicked good time celebrating life and love together. Life is too short to not find as much joy as we can while we are alive. I feel like I have finally found myself and I love how she reflects the good in me back to me. Life is good and there is so much yet to come. I am so happy to have her hand to hold as we follow this next path together. The time has come for us to see the world together and figure out what sort of opportunities await us. When nothing is certain, everything is possible. And I for one am excited to see what possibilities we discover together. <3